Basic Military Laws

1. The easy way is always mined. 
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
4. Five second fuses always burn three seconds. 
5. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. 
6. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself. 
7. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
8. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at. 
9. If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone. 
10. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
11. Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.