Humours Quotes IV

1. Going to Masque doesn't make you a Muslim any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
2. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
3. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still at the bottom of the list.
5. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
6. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
7. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
8. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
9. Knowledge is, knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
10. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
11. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Friendship Quotes

1. A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.
2. A friendship that can end never really began.
3. Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache: do be my enemy for friendship's sake.
4. Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art.
5. Have no friends not equal to yourself.
6. Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends.
7. A Friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature.
8. Keep your friendships in repair.
9. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.
10. The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one.
11. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
 

 

Humorous Quotes III

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ― Elbert Hubbard

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal. ― Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist

When in doubt, ignore and be horribly unimpressed. ― Laurell K. Hamilton

No intelligent idea can gain general acceptance unless some stupidity is mixed in with it. ― Fernando Pessoa

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. ― Oscar Wilde

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out. ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel. ― Terry Pratchett

I don't hate people. I just feel better when they aren't around. ― Charles Bukowski

When I was your age, television was called books. ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. ― Robert Orben

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it. ― Rodney Dangerfield

Honesty Quotes II

1. With death comes honesty.
2. No legacy is so rich as honesty.
3. Honesty's praised, then left to freeze.
4. Honesty is as rare as a man without self-pity.
5. Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.
6. Honesty needs no disguise nor ornament; be plain.
7. The man who pauses in his honesty wants little of a villain.
8. Lies get people into trouble, but honesty is its own defense.
9. The more honesty a man has, the less he affects the air of a saint.
10. To be honest as this world goes is to be one man picked out of ten thousand.
11. People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.



Quotes on Honesty

1. Honesty is the best policy.
2. Honest people don't hide their deeds.
3. I'm just honest, I like that I don't have to worry about what I say. I really don't have the time or energy to pretend and I don't want to live that way.
4. Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise.
5. Honest people are never touchy about the matter of being trusted.
6. A few honest men are better than numbers.
7. The truth is never dangerous. Except when told.
8. A man who is as honest as the day is long often needs watching at night.
9. I will be honest if only to differ from my neighbors.
10. An honest man is respected by all parties.
11. An honest man's the noblest work of God.

Humorous Quotes II

1. He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
2. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
3. Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
4. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
5. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
6. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.
7. No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
8. All my life I've wanted to be somebody; I realize now that I should have been more specific.
9. The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
10. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
11. Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.

Quotes on Hope

1. Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
2. Take hope from the heart of man, and you make him a beast of prey.
3. The word which God has written on the brow of every man is Hope.
4. Hope is what keeps you going, but hope keeps you focused on the future, and this continued focus perpetuates your denial of the Now and therefore your unhappiness.
5. But what is hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of.
6. How can hope be false when it is as much a part of the human experience as birth or death?
7. In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.
8. Hope is sweet-minded and sweet-eyed. It draws pictures; it weaves fancies; it fills the future with delight.
9. Do not invest your whole life in one hope.
10. A man begins to die when he ceases to expect anything from Tomorrow.
11. Hope is the beacon which points to prosperity.