- He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
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Behind every successful man is a surprised
woman.
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Be careful of reading health books, you might
die of a misprint.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if
you win, you're still a rat.
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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
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When choosing between two evils, I always like
to try the one I’ve never tried before.
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No man should marry until he has studied
anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
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All my life I've wanted to be somebody; I
realize now that I should have been more specific.
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The best way to give advice to your children is
to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on
the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
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Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only
difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you
too.
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